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entranceway2014-01-12 10:38 pm
manicuredangel) wrote in entranceway2014-01-12 10:38 pm
7th Book || Good Morning Starshine the Earth Says Bugger Off [accidental video]
[The sun shone through the window onto Aziraphale’s face and roused the angel from his light dozing. He blinked open his blue eyes and sat up, fumbling for the communication device to check the time, accidentally flicking on the video feed in the process. Viewers are treated to the view of Aziraphale’s extra disheveled mop of curly blond hair, entirely bare torso, and a bit of ruffled white wings with black speckles behind him.]
[Keen-eyed viewers might also notice a certain dark lump on the opposite side of the bed. Or at least a tuft of black hair poking out of the top of the covers.]
Dear, I think it’s time to get up. What would you like for breakfast?
[No response except for the shift of fabric.]
Really, dear… Breakfast. And a nice pot of tea sound lovely. Wake up.
[He nudges the lump in what may or may not be the side. Who knows? It’s a human-sized mass under the blanket. The lump twitches a bit and the camera auto-focuses for a moment in confusion since the angle’s a bit rubbish. Something that looks like a black wing appears in the corner of the frame for a moment before dropping away out of sight off the side of the bed with a sort of “flump” sound.]
Mffggfffllllssssssstime ‘zit?
[Huh. That sounds like Crowley’s voice.]
Crowley, it’s already eight o’clock. It’s time to wake up and enjoy the morning.
[He slips his hand under the cover and feels along the lump until he finds what he’s looking for. Oh yeah, he pinches dat ass. The Crowley-shaped lump responds with a snarly-growly sound and curls up even tighter beneath the blankets, the tuft of hair disappearing from view.]
Nnnnffbloody mornin’, bloody ungodly hour ‘swhat. Five more hours. Sleepin’, angel.
Oh no you don’t. Not this time. I let you sleep to your heart’s content most of the time, but I want to take a walk.
[He hesitates before he pulls off the cover. The room isn’t cold, by any means. But suddenly going from blanket-covered to blanket-free can’t be fun. Especially not for that particular blanket-dweller. Fortunately for everyone involved, the blanket hits the communication device just enough to turn the camera--sorry, Wonderland, no free peep shows. There is, however, a yelp and then a thud as Crowley falls out of bed. A downy black feather drifts into view.]
Now that’s just bloody well cruel. Mornings are for songbirds and those bloody mad jogging types, not any self-respecting demon.
I asked you yesterday to be up at a reasonable hour because I wanted to share breakfast and tea and a walk with you in the morning and you agreed. Up you get, dear boy.
[Crowley makes some indecipherable grumbling sounds from offscreen.] Bloody angels with their bloody guilt trips and bloody sodding morn--
[Crowley trails off quite abruptly. For a few blessed moments, there is silence.]
[Then,] ...Why is that light blinking?
Hmm? What light?
That, light, the one on-- [Beat.] Angel, tell me you didn’t. Please tell me you didn’t--
[There’s a flapping sound, the thud of footsteps and then the communicator gets thrown clear across the room. It hits a wall and the feed cuts out.]
[ooc: Aziraphale and Crowley.]
[Keen-eyed viewers might also notice a certain dark lump on the opposite side of the bed. Or at least a tuft of black hair poking out of the top of the covers.]
Dear, I think it’s time to get up. What would you like for breakfast?
[No response except for the shift of fabric.]
Really, dear… Breakfast. And a nice pot of tea sound lovely. Wake up.
[He nudges the lump in what may or may not be the side. Who knows? It’s a human-sized mass under the blanket. The lump twitches a bit and the camera auto-focuses for a moment in confusion since the angle’s a bit rubbish. Something that looks like a black wing appears in the corner of the frame for a moment before dropping away out of sight off the side of the bed with a sort of “flump” sound.]
Mffggfffllllssssssstime ‘zit?
[Huh. That sounds like Crowley’s voice.]
Crowley, it’s already eight o’clock. It’s time to wake up and enjoy the morning.
[He slips his hand under the cover and feels along the lump until he finds what he’s looking for. Oh yeah, he pinches dat ass. The Crowley-shaped lump responds with a snarly-growly sound and curls up even tighter beneath the blankets, the tuft of hair disappearing from view.]
Nnnnffbloody mornin’, bloody ungodly hour ‘swhat. Five more hours. Sleepin’, angel.
Oh no you don’t. Not this time. I let you sleep to your heart’s content most of the time, but I want to take a walk.
[He hesitates before he pulls off the cover. The room isn’t cold, by any means. But suddenly going from blanket-covered to blanket-free can’t be fun. Especially not for that particular blanket-dweller. Fortunately for everyone involved, the blanket hits the communication device just enough to turn the camera--sorry, Wonderland, no free peep shows. There is, however, a yelp and then a thud as Crowley falls out of bed. A downy black feather drifts into view.]
Now that’s just bloody well cruel. Mornings are for songbirds and those bloody mad jogging types, not any self-respecting demon.
I asked you yesterday to be up at a reasonable hour because I wanted to share breakfast and tea and a walk with you in the morning and you agreed. Up you get, dear boy.
[Crowley makes some indecipherable grumbling sounds from offscreen.] Bloody angels with their bloody guilt trips and bloody sodding morn--
[Crowley trails off quite abruptly. For a few blessed moments, there is silence.]
[Then,] ...Why is that light blinking?
Hmm? What light?
That, light, the one on-- [Beat.] Angel, tell me you didn’t. Please tell me you didn’t--
[There’s a flapping sound, the thud of footsteps and then the communicator gets thrown clear across the room. It hits a wall and the feed cuts out.]
[ooc: Aziraphale and Crowley.]
( video )
So he catches the start of the broadcast and starts to feel a little creepy spying on what's obviously unintentional, but then a certain someone shows up and America is suddenly faced with the reality that angels and demons apparently have relationships where they call each other "dear" and--
This whole thing would be innocuous if it was anyone but Crowley. Stuffy, overly British, apparently gay (??? is he mentally using that term right????), utterly annoying Crowley. And so that's why America is wearing an utterly shit-eating grin when he turns his own video on. There are dark circles under his eyes and a sad attempt at stubble littering his jaw, and as always, he's wearing a dumb shirt that I will probably own in real life some day. ]
Good morning, Crowley.
[ He croons in the most obnoxious voice imaginable. Like Cameron on Ferris Bueller's Day Off after he's been yanked out of the pool. ]
[audio 666ever]
[Crowley is not emotionally or mentally prepared to deal with America. Not in the mornings. Not after being caught in bed with an angel. Not ever, really.]
[And no way is he going to respond with some shrill threats and desperate attempts at denial and general panic. No, he's Crowley, and Crowley plays it cool even in the most dire situations. This is the guy who thought it would be a good idea to use a tire iron against Satan, you see.]
[So he waits about two hours until he's calm and composed (and fully clothed) before he responds. He can't bring himself to respond with video, since he's not nearly that brave, so he sticks with audio. This way he can write down ideas for the best way to curse America without the guy seeing.]
Good morning, America. You're going to learn to love that phrase in about seventy years.
[So casual aww yee.]
( video 1776ever )
Unfortunately time has not eaten that shit-eating grin or taken away the horrible grating smugness in his voice. ]
I like it now just fine. So where are your feathers, Budgie Butt? Didn't know snakes had big fluffy wings.
[audio worst year]
( video u mean every year )
[video] LOL THREADJACK
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audio that shirt is perfection
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I can't believe--I knew you were shite with technology, but this--
[He snatches up his own communicator on one of his passes, checking the network as he goes. All his color leaves him.]
[Shakily,] It posted. It's not supposed to even--Wonderland must have it in for us--
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I was just checking the time... Honestly, I had no idea...
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Video
::Needless to say, Ed's recovered from his initial 'asdfkj;l' reaction upon the video starting as he got to avoid seeing far more of Crowley than he ever wants to see. (Not that he particularly wanted to see the amount he did see.)::
audio forever sob
Oh, clever you, figuring it all out.
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[video] A wild Wall of Text appeared!
Click- eh, whatever, click- new people?, click-- ha, look at this dude, does it get any more stereotypically British than that? Oh, yeah, there you go, he'd been waiting to see how long it'd take for tea to enter the equation. If he were a betting man he'd have lost to himself right there... He's vaguely aware of the slip of black hair before it disappears into the blanket void but he thinks nothing of it until the lump starts talking.
...Huh. That voice, it's, uh... Kinda familiar. Really familiar, actually--]
...No way.
[He should probably... Turn this off. It's obviously, like, accidental, like a billion percent accidental... But he just can't seem to hit the button and so the feed just hurtles along, further miring this unsuspecting ex-junkie in the what-in-the-fucks with every frame. So domestic he doesn't even know...
And then there's, you know.... The wings. The very obvious, very feathery wings poking out of his friend's and the uber English guy's backs and what the actual fuck. He knew there were angels here but Crowley? Really??
It only takes him about five minutes to respond, and when he does it's with a surprising amount of almost-tact, for Jesse. He's not gonna comment on the, uh... The sleeping arrangements, because for all of his bluster and posturing back home he gives a precious few fucks about who's banging who unless he's involved in the banging himself (not to mention wow, awkward)...
But the wings? Yeah, that's... A thing. So have some bleary eyes and bedhead, Crowley.]
...Eye condition my ass, yo. You're an angel?
[Because he's operating under the assumption that "self respecting demon" had been, like, hyperbole or whatever it's called. A joke, you know, because demons obviously don't have wings. Obviously, come on, he's not a complete moron. ...Besides, he likes Crowley, and Jesse has this rather unfortunate habit of missing things right in front of his face when it comes to people he cares about...
In other words, A SWING AND A MISS FOR JESSE PINKMAN. OR A GLANCING BLOW. OR A NICK. Whatever, it's a start, right? Feel free to correct him... Or don't.]
[video] awkwardness intensifies
[See, this is the problem with making friends with humans. Eventually they get clever, or you go and make a mistake, like drunkenly mention that you were totally there at that one important historical event about two hundred years ago, or they ask you why you make weird hissing sounds when you try to enter church grounds, or Hell decided to make your newest body have snake eyes as some perverse joke, and you tried to explain that, no, humans don't actually have yellow eyes and this is going to stand out like a sore thumb, and they tell you that sorry the paperwork has already gone through and the waiting time for a new body is up to twenty-five years now so you're just gonna have to deal with it, and it's still two hundred years till they invent goddamned sunglasses.]
[Anyway yeah. Something like that happens, and then comes the screaming and crying and exorcisms and blessings. One time somewhere in Egypt the local priest blessed the entire oasis when he found out what Crowley was. Pain in the ass. Or you find yourself surrounded by a mob who want to drown you in the river. Also a pain in the ass, even if it can't technically hurt you. It's doubly annoying when it's an actual friend who finds out, since there's a certain glumness that comes with knowing you probably won't be getting drinks with that interesting human anymore.]
[Jesse never struck Crowley as being particular religious, but even secular folk don't want to deal with demons. Frankly even demons don't want to deal with demons. So Crowley is expecting either some freaking out about the demon stuff, or general snide comments about shagging angels. He's not expecting what Jesse actually says.]
--What, no. What? An angel, really?
[video] approaching critical intensity!! poor crowley /o\
Wings? Like... Like fluffy bird wings? And your-- [Friend? Boyfriend? Partner? What's the appropriate-- Nope, not going there.] The other guy, him too. That's some like Sistine Chapel angelic... Whatever it is.
[HA. Caught you red handed. Or dark-winged. Whatever. He's seen the paintings (on the internet) and he knows the stories (in that ridiculous telephone game way most kids who'd fucked off during Sunday school do), and so it's a simple equation: wings = angels.
...God help this kid.]
[video] sobbing 666ever
[video] headhands everywhere, just... fffff
[video] and now the moment of truth
[video] yer a wizard, crowley
[video] IMMA WOT
[video] A WIZARD HARRY
[video] there actually is a potter omens AU
[video] ....perfect
[video] hallelujah
[video] it sounds like something I need in my life
[video] it's basically adorable. crowley is in gryffindor!
[video] the actual cutest omg....... I love it.
[video] i have a weakness for crossovers :3
[video] me too, they're always fun
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video;
[She already knew about the relationship after Aziraphale had told her but not about Crowley being a demon- which shouldn't change her opinion of him, right? Just because Bela didn't have a good experience with them way back when didn't mean she had to judge them all as bad.]
Next time though? Lock away your device before you give Wonderland a free show, boys.
audio
Domesticated, me? Perish the thought. [It comes out a bit weak, though.] And whoever said the show was free? I intend to bill everyone for services rendered.
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Well, nobody actually saw anything. At least nothing suggestive. [Just kind of sickeningly cute.] Probably for the best on your part.
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Anyway, the name Crowley seems familiar, thanks to that personified country with ugly shirts, and she certainly does spot some wing action up in here. Plus, you know. She lives for seeing others embarrassed.]
Next time be more careful with the camera.
[There, a nice, normal reminder about Wonderland's network and--]
I mean, that blanket totally got in the way of the view.
[--or not.]
[audio]
Cute.
VIDEO FOR HER SO HA
JERK
8)
sob
WHY DO I KEEP MAKING TYPOS IN ALL MY TAGS NOW
WELL IT IS LIKE 3 AM
I EAT 3 AM FOR BREAKFAST
ME TOO
of course, now I am going to bed BUT IT'S NOW 4 AM SO I WON
/fistbump of victory
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[ His expression wavers somewhere between disgust and amusement. This explains so much and yet... ]
You want my advice? Make the next one more salacious. Make all the boys and girls jealous.
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I will do no such thing.
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[audio 5ever]
You're hilarious.
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[video]
Nice plumage.
[It's definitely smartassed, but there's some genuine aesthetic appreciation in there.]
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[video]
This being Michael, of course, it's the judgement that rises to the top.]
I knew there was something a little off about you, Aziraphale, but I never would have taken you for a demon fetishist.
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It's nothing like that, Michael. It's just him.
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Sod off.
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