The Angel Balthazar (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tryingitall) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
entranceway2013-04-23 07:35 pm
tryingitall) wrote in entranceway2013-04-23 07:35 pm
001 | Video| Open
[Balthazar pops up in the feed with a tense smile. His ash-blond hair is mussed in a way that suggests bedhead too artfully to be an accident. Likewise, his clothes are impeccable, except for a burned hole in the front of his shirt. About the size of a fist, it lets a glint of metal from his necklace show through.]
Well, the first thing I’ll be needing is a bar. One that serves good liquor, preferably, although I’m not too finicky for a little rotgut here and there. Once that’s been handled, I'd love to know who picked this as the site for the family reunion.
[He pauses for a moment, then adds:] If I do find a bar, please don’t try to sober me up. It takes a lot of effort to get drunk when you have a metabolism like mine, and I hate to spoil the experience.
Well, the first thing I’ll be needing is a bar. One that serves good liquor, preferably, although I’m not too finicky for a little rotgut here and there. Once that’s been handled, I'd love to know who picked this as the site for the family reunion.
[He pauses for a moment, then adds:] If I do find a bar, please don’t try to sober me up. It takes a lot of effort to get drunk when you have a metabolism like mine, and I hate to spoil the experience.
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Dean told me about... many of the crimes I committed.
[He failed to mention this one. Or maybe he didn't know. Maybe Balthazar died, and no one was ever the wiser.
Castiel has already killed some of his brothers, in self-defense. And somewhere down the road of his downward spiral, he murders Balthazar. There is no reasoning, no justification.]
I'm not that person yet.
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I've told Gabriel. I just...he's the first one I ran into here. [First one, and hurting in exactly the same way.] But I wasn't planning on discussing it with anyone else. It's between you and me to work out, if we can.
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It seems that Castiel has a penchant for destroying what he dares love.]
Can we?
[It's not doubt on his part. As far as he's concerned, nothing's changed between them. But Balthazar has a very different history with Castiel than vice versa, and Castiel can't assume that their bond is strong enough to withstand what will happen... what happened to Balthazar.]
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On the other hand, the fact that he hasn't actually thought about that answer casts some doubt over whether a resolution is possible. Love can heal a lot of things, but in end, Balthazar will still have died by his brother's hand.
Time will tell, though, and it would be unfair to hold his potential future against Cas. Balthazar reaches tentatively across the table and places his hand over Cas' wrist.]
Just be patient with me. It still hurts.
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This Castiel never turned his blade against Balthazar, but the Mansion has a way of being cruel, plucking people from different points in time. Gabriel has arrived more dead than alive. Balthazar... as well, only by Castiel's own hands. Whether or not he has not committed that crime doesn't soften the blow. Maybe that makes it worse.
Balthazar will never get Castiel to answer for his crimes, because Castiel has yet to do it.
He swallows, tries to hold his brother's eyes. It's more difficult than it should be. Some of his closest siblings have come to be here... and all of them are beyond his reach. There's a dull ache inside of him that's called loneliness and longing, only it's worse than it was before his siblings arrived. Strange, that.
Castiel keeps his face stoic.]
Will you let me heal what little damage I an take away?
[Not that it'll be much. Castiel's Grace has shrivelled down to something pitiful and small.]
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Still, it'll be a long road back to the way they were before.
Balthazar smiles wistfully.] Cassi. You're not well, either. I won't stop you, but I don't want you to wear yourself out.
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He reaches out a hand, leans in a little to place his hand on Balthazar's chest. Slowly his Grace reaches out towards his brother, intending to heal. There's not much he can give, his own Grace pitifully weakened, but he owes Balthazar this much. The reunion he had been positively excited about won't happen, not now, not ever.
And as with anything else, it seems it's his own fault, no one else's.]
I'm only falling. That hardly compares.
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Balthazar's Grace is in knots, wounded and bewildered, but beneath it all is an undeniable pull toward family, and real, if shaky, affection.] Doesn't it? It's cold, Falling. Lonely.
[He was in the process himself not long ago.] I recommend heavy drinking. [His eyes open again.] Castiel. We're still brothers, no matter what you have done or will do. You'll always have me.
[It's a bittersweet promise, but he means it.]
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Cold and lonely.]
Imbibing copious amounts of alcohol is becoming a more attractive option with every passing day.
[It's wry, almost like a joke but not quite. Castiel's own Grace is small, quivering almost as it reaches out towards its brother, equal parts hesitant and eager. As reserved as Castiel is, he holds a lot of affection for his family within. Having to kill his own kin in order to survive has taken its toll and hurt him deeply - but at least that was for the greater good, something the soldier can justify and live with.
Killing Balthazar without knowing the context, without wanting to know the context. It's different. Harrowing.
There's not much he can heal, not as weakened as he is himself, but he gives what he can.]
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Where are you rooming? I heard there were a lot of us on the fifth. [He can feel the ache and nausea ease slowly, subtly, under Castiel's touch. The weakness will stay for some time, but he's relaxing now, free of most of the discomfort.]
...that's much better, actually. Thank you, Cassi.
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Yes. I've chosen a room on the fifth floor. Dean Winchester was there when I arrived. Samandriel has joined us since.
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When he withdraws again, he rests his elbow on the table and his chin in his hand.] Is it common for several people from the same world to be here? It seems odd that Gabriel and I should arrive at the same time.
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There are some from the same world.
[Castiel goes through the current residents that he knows of mentally.]
Some arrive together, but... it does seem unusual.
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And there's Lucifer. You know that, I hope? [He offers this information more seriously, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. Where he comes from, Lucifer is safely back in the Cage, at least temporarily, and he mostly just pities him. But Cas is in a different position, evidently.]
Is he aware of you?
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[Lucifer's arrival has thrown Castiel for a loop, he can't deny that. With everything else going on, this was not a problem he needed added to what's already a strained, problematic situation at best.]
I... talked to him.
[And there is just that bare hint of hesitation there, that means Castiel may not be lying, but he's certainly not telling everything there is to tell.]
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I wish you hadn't, but obviously he didn't kill you yet. Anything I ought to know? [He doesn't like it when Castiel doesn't tell him everything there is to tell. It makes him twitchy.]
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[Which, in their lives, counts as a major victory these days.]
I informed him of the common enemy we share on the other side of the mirrors. For what it's worth, he seems... inclined to focus his attention on what's keeping him bound here, rather then the company he's bound with. At least for now.
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The least we can do for one another is stick together.
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It's good to know you by my side. Despite everything.
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[He meant it when he said it before, his last words to the brother he loves most. He means it now, too, whatever happens in the future. No matter how awkward it feels or how much it hurts.]
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It may hurt, it may be awkward, but at least here, in this strange place, they still got each other, and there's nothing to cloud Castiel's judgement on that.]