[As the video starts to play, the person on screen looks like they've come about as close to the brink of death as anyone can manage and still come back from it. Her dark hair is pulled back from her ghostly white face and pale blue eyes that are normally accentuated with black eye makeup, appear to be lined with blood. Her tongue flickers out over dry, cracked lips and the picture is shaky, as if the person holding the camera has unsteady hands.]

Aren't you supposed to take the red pill before you wake up in bizarro land? [The woman trying to inject as much vibrancy as she can manage into her voice, despite the obvious struggle to do so.]

There should at least be food. Like, nachos. Why don't any of my kidnappings ever come with nachos?

[The shake of the camera worsens as she pulls one hand away, trying to rub away the evidence of what had happened before she woke up here.]

As comfortable as this floor is... if somebody could point me in the direction of food? [Aware of how she looks, her hand vaguely gestures to her face.] It's okay. It was just a minor case of Fae plague. A burger or six and I'll be good to go.