entranceway | First Faecast ↔ Video

[As the video starts to play, the person on screen looks like they've come about as close to the brink of death as anyone can manage and still come back from it. Her dark hair is pulled back from her ghostly white face and pale blue eyes that are normally accentuated with black eye makeup, appear to be lined with blood. Her tongue flickers out over dry, cracked lips and the picture is shaky, as if the person holding the camera has unsteady hands.]

Aren't you supposed to take the red pill before you wake up in bizarro land? [The woman trying to inject as much vibrancy as she can manage into her voice, despite the obvious struggle to do so.]

There should at least be food. Like, nachos. Why don't any of my kidnappings ever come with nachos?

[The shake of the camera worsens as she pulls one hand away, trying to rub away the evidence of what had happened before she woke up here.]

As comfortable as this floor is... if somebody could point me in the direction of food? [Aware of how she looks, her hand vaguely gestures to her face.] It's okay. It was just a minor case of Fae plague. A burger or six and I'll be good to go.

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Um... ya know. [Counting them off in her head.] A couple or few - three times? If we're counting this one I mean. One of those times only half counts cause it was just a few hours in a trunk with a dead body.

[For somebody who gets kidnapped a lot, she sure seems to be taking it in her stride.]

What like, a magic lamp?! Does Robin Williams appear if I rub it the right way?

[ Any consideration of talking about how this woman evidently doesn't know how to NOT get kidnapped is cut off by the magic lamp talk. Sharon's expression turns stern. ]

Do not wish for a genie from the closet. Do not.

Okay? Do not wish for a genie from the closet.

[Eyes widening.] Uhhhh. Yeah I was totes thinking the closet was like a lamp until you said that so...

[Yep. There are just some ideas that should never be put in her head.]

But you're basically saying, in theory... I could wish myself up a genie? And if I were, in theory to do this... what would happen exactly?

[ God.

Damn.

It.

Sharon.

GOD DAMN IT, SHARON! ]

No.

[ Sharon takes a long, deep breath. ] We already have zombies and brainwashing and mirror versions of ourselves. We don't need potentially homicidal genies, too. There are birds that can talk. We're in Wonderland, for fuck's sake. We do not need a genie on top of everything else!

[ They even have a vampire slayer here, which means, in theory, that they could have a vampire. God. If this girl brings a genie here, Sharon is going to shoot someone. Again. ]

Edited (lol html) 2016-06-07 05:01 (UTC)

[She'll just, stare at her screen. Lips pressed together as she waits for Sharon to finish.]

Has anyone, like... ever suggested... that maybe you're just a teeny, tiny bit... uptight? We're in Wonderland. Where's your sense of Wonder, sheesh.

[Just because this isn't all that weird for you Kenzi, doesn't mean it's not a major WTF everyone else.]

Besides. Why would I need a Genie when I can cut out the middle man and go for the closet? [A beat.] I just wanted to know what would happen.

[ Sharon takes a deep, deep breath. She lets it out... and then takes yet another deep, deep breath. She rubs the bridge of her nose.

And takes another deep, deep breath. ]

Okay. Sorry. [ Pffft. No, she's not. But that probably sounds better than, "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? NO. STOP WONDERING WHAT WILL HAPPEN. MY SENSE OF WONDER GOT RUINED BY A TALKING BIRD WHO WAS RUDE AS BALLS. RUUUUUUUDE. AAAAAAAAAAAS. BALLLLLLLLLLLLLS. ]

Please stick to the magical closets. People have died here in the past, and dying is... unpleasant. It would be best if you avoided death by inviting genies or the like here.

Just... yes, this place is Wonderland, but it's not the Wonderland you know. Alice doesn't have any eyes. There are things in the mirrors. And every so often, this place either tests us or intentionally tries to kill us.

So just... careful what you wish for.

First Faecast ↔ Video

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