entranceway | 001 ✘ Video

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001 ✘ Video

[Hello, Wonderland.

This is an unfeasibly large gun.

In fact, that's pretty much the entire broadcast right now- the four barrels of an unfeasibly large laser cannon. Off-screen, presumably wielding said unfeasibly large cannon, a Brooklyn-accented voice speaks up.]

I've been here two hours and I ain't heard any demands, so I hope I'm not stealin' your thunder if I skip the theatrics and move right on to the negotiation process. [There's a pause and then a dry laugh.] Oh, who am I kiddin'. I don't give a shit about your thunder. You took somethin' what belongs to me. Four somethings actually. They go by the names Peter Quill, Gamora, Drax, and Groot. They are completely helpless without me, so I get why you'd think they were the ones to kidnap. This will still go down in history as the dumbest move of your lives, so way to think strategically, you d'ast imbeciles.

Here's my terms. If I don't see all four of 'em alive 'n breathin' in the next six seconds, I'm gonna put a round in this communicator just for the hell of it. And then I'm gonna put about eight more rounds in your face. And after that I'll get real creative.

[The gun is lowered. And there is one pissed off raccoon now staring into the screen.] Do I make myself perfectly freakin' clear?

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[It's the Brooklyn accent more than the giant gun that first grabs Steve's attention. It's pretty common for people to make vague threats at the network when they first arrive here, so he's gotten used to that part. (Although the gun is like nothing he's ever seen before, which has him at least a little curious.)

None of the names given ring any bells, although some of them are unique enough to give Steve pause.

As soon as the gun tilts down and the speaker reveals himself, Steve's left completely speechless. He really needs to stop making claims about how he's seen it all or how nothing surprises him anymore, because the world (or worlds, in this case) will always find a way to prove him wrong.

He gathers his composure before he responds. All questions about how a raccoon can talk can wait until Steve's explained a few things.]

Your friends may not be here. You've been kidnapped, but they weren't necessarily taken with you. [Steve frowns sympathetically.] Also, your message only gets sent to the rest of us who've been taken. The people behind it like to stay silent and mysterious most of the time.

[Blah, blah, most of that he's heard from one person or another, but that last part gets a look of such UTTER OFFENSE that he nearly drops his gun. What do you mean the bad guys gave him a communicator THAT CAN ONLY CONTACT OTHER INMATES??? WHAT KIND OF SICK PRISON IS THIS??]

I've been in some bad prisons in my day, but this one... this one's gotta be the sickest one yet.

[A hundred years in the Kyln would be better than something that's just fucking with you.]

[Well, something about what Steve said seems to have struck a nerve. It's kind of surreal how easily he's able to pick out expressions on a raccoon's face, and Steve wonders if that says something about him or about the talking rodent in question.

Said talking rodent has apparently been around the block. Between the threats, the gun, and the mention of past sentences, Steve's getting an idea of what this strange new arrival is like, and it's not anywhere near what he would have expected.]

How did you end up in prison the other times? I'm guessing it has something to do with waving a gun around?

[Steve isn't really accusing, so much as fulfilling a curiosity. The slight upturn of his lips should make that clear enough.]

[In the most sardonic deadpan:]

People get real particular about mercenary activity on some planets.

[And okay so maybe some buildings got blown up. And maybe he stole a few ships. Actually, he's stolen a lot of shit, but those never made it onto his record.

BUT ALL THOSE RECORDS HAVE BEEN EXPUNGED.]

[It's much more the mention of planets, plural, that grabs Steve's attention rather than the raccoon's admittance to being a mercenary. Yes, it's beyond odd that a talking raccoon is a sellsword (or would sellgun be more accurate?), but anyone who's traveled through space interests Steve.

He's only just recently learned that there's other life in space, and a whole lot of it. The Aesir and the Chitauri are only the tip of the iceberg, he's guessing, so if he can learn more about what's out there...

Well, apparently talking rodents are out there.]

I think it's probably frowned on most places that you go. [Not that Wonderland has much in the way of law and order, something that Steve's debated with himself over a number of times before.] Sorry, we don't have much in the way of sentient raccoons where I'm from. You seem pretty familiar with humans, though. [Steve hadn't received any sort of overblown reaction when he responded, anyway.] What planet are you from?

I'm familiar with a lot of things. [He has an impressive encyclopedia in this head of his. Some of it is even naturally learned and the rest is just shit from back when he was an experiment.] Terra's a backwoods planet in a boonie quadrant, but I know a few things about it.

[Not enough to know what a raccoon is, beyond that he apparently is one. He still refuses to accept that. He is what he is.]

Half-World. In the Keystone Quadrant.

Terra? [The word slips out of Steve's mouth before he really has a say in the matter. He's heard Earth called Midgard by the Asgardians, but Terra is a new one. Steve's not sure what's wrong with just calling it Earth, but maybe there are other planets out there with the same name.

It's not exactly a creative one.

Steve can't say why he asked Mr. Raccoon here where he's from, since it's not like he would have recognized the name no matter what he'd said.]

Why do you call it a... boonie quadrant? Is it because none of the planets around Earth are habitable? [Maybe there are other solar systems filled with planets that people can survive on. It's a strange thought, but completely possible, given what little Steve knows about astronomy.]

Callin' a planet earth is about as dumb as callin' a planet Sky or Air. [He scoffs. And the second question all but makes him snicker. ISN'T IT OBVIOUS, STEVE??]

'Cause your planet tends to its own business and has no idea what's goin' on out there in the greater universe. Hell, half you Terrans don't even realize there is a greater universe.

[The raccoon may have a point there, but Earth is Steve's home and he can't really adapt to calling it anything else.

At that second comment, he smirks -- that may have been true once, but not anymore.] Actually, after the alien invasion happened I'm pretty sure that most of us are aware of it.

[Steve doesn't know about much beyond the Aesir and the Chitauri, but still, it's something. And he'd be glad for the chance to learn more.]

[That makes Rocket's ears twitch a bit in surprise. Granted, they've only been the Guardians of the Galaxy for ten minutes, but Quill would probably like to know that there are races out there trying to bite a chunk out of his home planet.] Who the hell's invadin' Terra?

[Quill's gonna be piiiiiissed.]

[So this is news, then. At least Steve has something in his field of knowledge that isn't old news for this space traveler. It makes him feel a little less like he's completely out of the loop.]

Have you ever heard of the Chitauri?

[Steve has no clue if they're a particularly well-known race throughout the galaxy, but they hadn't been particularly subtle. Still, to hear someone else's opinion on them could be interesting.

They don't seem like the kind of race that makes friends all too easily.]

Basic mercs for hire, last I heard of 'em.

[He doesn't know a whole lot, but you hear things out in the universe. You hear a lot of things in prison. The only thing prisoners love more than provin' who's tougher is swapping gossip.] There were rumors about 'em rubbin' elbows with Thanos, but ain't nobody ever confirmed it. Not that you'd wanna be the guy who had to. You don't screw around with the Mad God.

[That fits in with the little that Steve knows of the Chitauri. Loki had promised them a slice of the pie, so to speak, and so they had agreed to fight with him.

But there's more to it than that, and soon enough the stranger's tossed out some new names and titles that immediately grab Steve's attention and set him on edge.

There's already a higher rung on the ladder, isn't there?]

I've never heard of him, but with a nickname like that, he must be a real nice guy.

Hah. [Rocket snorts.] Yeah, that's one way to put it. No idea what the hell he'd want with Terra, but it ain't good. Quill's gonna flip his shit when he hears about that, considerin' he used to be from there.

[Quill is one of the names that Steve's furry friend here had mentioned in the initial broadcast, as a companion of his. But if the implication here is right, then Steve's got a whole new set of questions to run through.

He should really be giving the raccoon information about this place, but it's been the other way around so far. Steve will try and fix that later.]

Used to be from there? What do you mean by that?

I mean he's a Terran.

[He squints at the communicator, unsure if he was unclear somewhere. Despite the fact that most humies don't generally leave their home planet except maybe to hop, skip, or jump towards one of their piddly lifeless local moons (and maybe occasionally a planet), it's not unheard of for them to find a way to the greater galaxy beyond. Uncommon, but not unheard of.]

[As far as Steve's concerned? It is unheard of. He's pretty sure the only human he knows of who's gone outside of Earth (further than the moon, that is) is Jane Foster, and that had been a pretty special circumstance. Apparently there had been another one of those circumstances at some point, for this Quill to make it so far from home.]

How did he manage that? I've never heard of any other human just skipping around the galaxy like that.

He left when he was a kid is what I heard.

[Or at least that was what Quill said. And he wasn't in the room when Quill got his big BTW you're half-alien spiel from Nova Prime, which would probably explain a few things. As far as he knows, though, Quill's just a human who ended up in the right place at the right time... and he can say that because Terra's kind of a dirt clod in his opinion.] He had some thing with the Ravagers, so I guess they picked up a stray.

[It's not like someone can just decide they want to take a trip to another planet, at least not in the time that Steve's from, but then the raccoon elaborates, something about "Ravagers" picking Quill up.

When he was a kid, even. It seems like it would be hard to leave home behind at a young age, but then again, isn't that what all of them had done when they shipped off to war?]

Ravagers. They don't sound like the friendly type. [Quill's obviously still alive and well, though, so there's that.]

... You know, I never caught your name. [Steve hasn't quite gotten over the fact that he's speaking to a raccoon, but he's finally remembered his manners, at least.]

Buncha thieves is what they are. [Not that he can say anything, but he's a bounty hunter with an eye for shiny things that has as much to do with his species as it does with his love of money.] Decent enough so's long as you don't forget to pay 'em.

[Possibly he has a soft spot for the Ravagers, because he fought with them in the Battle of Xandar. Hell, he's got a soft spot for the Nova Corps too now and he never expected that to happen.]

It's Rocket.

[Thieves who steal young kids and take them off into space. There's nothing that sounds particularly decent about that, but they apparently have different definitions for that word.

Rocket. It's a pretty appropriate name, since this talking raccoon definitely has a lot of fire in him. Steve nods.] Steve Rogers. [And that name shouldn't mean a thing to someone who's never been to Earth, so he doesn't linger on it.]

I think it's probably your time to ask questions... unless someone's already filled you in.

[BLAME ~~J'son of Spartax~~ idk some asshole who is definitely not J'son of Spartax and I'm mad about it.

Not that Rocket knows this. He thinks that's perfectly reasonable. It's not like they ate him or anything. Or enslaved him. Or whatever.

And nope. That name means nothing. What r Amurrica.]

I got the gist of it. Mirrors are bad. The local monarchies don't like to show their faces much. Bad shit happens all the time. Nobody gets off this rock and if they do, they forget they were ever here.

[So Rocket's already done his homework and then some. He may be a little abrasive at first glance, not to mention the whole furry part, but he's answered all of Steve's questions and he's sharp.

Not that Steve ever thought there'd come a time in his life where he'd give a raccoon props.]

That's most of it. [There's only one other huge point that Rocket hasn't mentioned.] Did anyone tell you about how death works here?

I rationally assumed that it works like death does everywhere, unless you're gonna get all spiritual on me.

[Steve chuckles and shakes his head.] Not exactly.

But death isn't permanent here. You'll revive. The first time just a day later, the second time it'll take two days, and so on.

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