entranceway | 001 ✘ Video

[Hello, Wonderland.

This is an unfeasibly large gun.

In fact, that's pretty much the entire broadcast right now- the four barrels of an unfeasibly large laser cannon. Off-screen, presumably wielding said unfeasibly large cannon, a Brooklyn-accented voice speaks up.]

I've been here two hours and I ain't heard any demands, so I hope I'm not stealin' your thunder if I skip the theatrics and move right on to the negotiation process. [There's a pause and then a dry laugh.] Oh, who am I kiddin'. I don't give a shit about your thunder. You took somethin' what belongs to me. Four somethings actually. They go by the names Peter Quill, Gamora, Drax, and Groot. They are completely helpless without me, so I get why you'd think they were the ones to kidnap. This will still go down in history as the dumbest move of your lives, so way to think strategically, you d'ast imbeciles.

Here's my terms. If I don't see all four of 'em alive 'n breathin' in the next six seconds, I'm gonna put a round in this communicator just for the hell of it. And then I'm gonna put about eight more rounds in your face. And after that I'll get real creative.

[The gun is lowered. And there is one pissed off raccoon now staring into the screen.] Do I make myself perfectly freakin' clear?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[As far as Steve's concerned? It is unheard of. He's pretty sure the only human he knows of who's gone outside of Earth (further than the moon, that is) is Jane Foster, and that had been a pretty special circumstance. Apparently there had been another one of those circumstances at some point, for this Quill to make it so far from home.]

How did he manage that? I've never heard of any other human just skipping around the galaxy like that.

He left when he was a kid is what I heard.

[Or at least that was what Quill said. And he wasn't in the room when Quill got his big BTW you're half-alien spiel from Nova Prime, which would probably explain a few things. As far as he knows, though, Quill's just a human who ended up in the right place at the right time... and he can say that because Terra's kind of a dirt clod in his opinion.] He had some thing with the Ravagers, so I guess they picked up a stray.

[It's not like someone can just decide they want to take a trip to another planet, at least not in the time that Steve's from, but then the raccoon elaborates, something about "Ravagers" picking Quill up.

When he was a kid, even. It seems like it would be hard to leave home behind at a young age, but then again, isn't that what all of them had done when they shipped off to war?]

Ravagers. They don't sound like the friendly type. [Quill's obviously still alive and well, though, so there's that.]

... You know, I never caught your name. [Steve hasn't quite gotten over the fact that he's speaking to a raccoon, but he's finally remembered his manners, at least.]

Buncha thieves is what they are. [Not that he can say anything, but he's a bounty hunter with an eye for shiny things that has as much to do with his species as it does with his love of money.] Decent enough so's long as you don't forget to pay 'em.

[Possibly he has a soft spot for the Ravagers, because he fought with them in the Battle of Xandar. Hell, he's got a soft spot for the Nova Corps too now and he never expected that to happen.]

It's Rocket.

[Thieves who steal young kids and take them off into space. There's nothing that sounds particularly decent about that, but they apparently have different definitions for that word.

Rocket. It's a pretty appropriate name, since this talking raccoon definitely has a lot of fire in him. Steve nods.] Steve Rogers. [And that name shouldn't mean a thing to someone who's never been to Earth, so he doesn't linger on it.]

I think it's probably your time to ask questions... unless someone's already filled you in.

[BLAME ~~J'son of Spartax~~ idk some asshole who is definitely not J'son of Spartax and I'm mad about it.

Not that Rocket knows this. He thinks that's perfectly reasonable. It's not like they ate him or anything. Or enslaved him. Or whatever.

And nope. That name means nothing. What r Amurrica.]

I got the gist of it. Mirrors are bad. The local monarchies don't like to show their faces much. Bad shit happens all the time. Nobody gets off this rock and if they do, they forget they were ever here.

[So Rocket's already done his homework and then some. He may be a little abrasive at first glance, not to mention the whole furry part, but he's answered all of Steve's questions and he's sharp.

Not that Steve ever thought there'd come a time in his life where he'd give a raccoon props.]

That's most of it. [There's only one other huge point that Rocket hasn't mentioned.] Did anyone tell you about how death works here?

I rationally assumed that it works like death does everywhere, unless you're gonna get all spiritual on me.

[Steve chuckles and shakes his head.] Not exactly.

But death isn't permanent here. You'll revive. The first time just a day later, the second time it'll take two days, and so on.

[..... He's going to respond to that with a question that befits a being of his intellectual superiority. Really. He is.]

....Why?

[Steve doesn't judge. It's a baffling concept and there's still no real explanation for how it all happens.]

I don't know why, but it's a universal thing. It's almost a good thing, seeing how often people tend to die here. [He hasn't, except for that time on the Oregon Trail and he's not sure that even counts.]

Whatever powers this place must be able to revive people too. But after five death, the story goes things start to get weird.

Ain't that encouraging.

[Not that he's worried about dying. He's more worried about people he kills NOT STAYING DEAD. Fortunately, Steve's next remark keeps him from saying as much.]

What happens after five?

[If only some of the serial killers here had the same concerns as Rocket. Instead, they've found ways to kill without their victim ever seeing them, and that's even more infuriating.]

It's more or less a mystery. [Steve says more or less because there was in fact a report from someone who's died five times, recorded in the resistance notebook. But fuzzy or not, Rocket's still a stranger and Steve doesn't think he should be sharing those kind of personal details with him.] I guess the bottom line is that whatever it is, it isn't good.

[That raises his hackles a bit. Not that everything about this place doesn't.] It sounds like this joint is nothin' but mystery.

Now you're getting the hang of it. [Steve smiles grimly.] Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

[He huffs.] You and everyone else on this rock. I'll figure it out.

[#confidence]

It sounds like you can adapt pretty well, if you've traveled through different parts of space.

[And been imprisoned on various planets. To Rocket, this is probably just another Tuesday.]

This cell isn't that easy to jailbreak from, though. You might want to prepare yourself to be here for a while.

[He scratches the fur underneath his neck, the expression on his face giving him the appearance of preening.] Naturally.

[He's anticipating this taking longer than he thinks, despite his protests to the contrary, but he'll get out. He always does.] Maybe awhile, but not forever. We'll see.

[That's something they can agree on. It may be a while, years even, but they'll get out of here eventually.

Nothing lasts forever.]

You will. Feel free to drop a line if you have any other questions.

[With that, Steve ends the call.]

001 ✘ Video

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]