Angel (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
vampdetective) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
entranceway2014-07-18 03:24 pm
vampdetective) wrote in entranceway2014-07-18 03:24 pm
[ 004 | Audio/Action ]
[Audio:]
[It's evening when Angel's message reaches the network. There's a brief pause after the feed initially opens, an incredibly faint hint of background noise filling in the gap while the speaker searches for words -- a low humming picked up from the sounds of the birds and crickets going about their business in the garden.]
Cordelia Chase is no longer here in Wonderland. She had friends here. I thought-- they'd want to know.
[Admittedly, he didn't know who she was close to beyond him. They never talked about that kind of thing, but it was important that anyone else who cared about her know that she was no longer with them. They deserved that, even if he didn't know them well enough to give the message personally.]
If you knew her, she probably appreciated you more than you realize.
[That's just the kind of person she is. A big, big heart to match that thousand-watt smile of hers.]
That's all.
[The feed ends abruptly. He never was good with public addresses.]
[Action:]
[With dark having fallen, Angel can be found out in the garden beyond the mansion, seated on one of the benches there and hunched over, his eyebrows drawn downwards as his mouth settles into a determinedly flat line, pensive. Pensive Face is pretty standard for him, but there's something more to it now, a little extra hunch to his shoulders, his usual level of brooding upgraded to Brooding with a capital B.
Her disappearance has hit him hard, for a thousand different reasons, most of which he's not sure he can articulate.
Anyone who passes by and looks closely enough might see that he's holding a piece of jewelry in his hands -- a locket, which he turns over and over without rest, even when he directs his gaze elsewhere, tirelessly repeating the same seemingly meaningless routine as he mulls over what this disappearance means. For Cordelia. For him.
He can't say he knows for sure what she's going back to. Death, but more than that. The Powers always had bigger plans for her, and somehow the uncertainty makes everything worse. All he knows that her leaving again--
He's lost her so many times now. Failed her just like he's failed everyone else, but somehow this is so much more painful. He feels defeated. Nobody trusted him or believed in him the way Cordelia did, but he's never been able to protect her. Not the way he ought to.]
[It's evening when Angel's message reaches the network. There's a brief pause after the feed initially opens, an incredibly faint hint of background noise filling in the gap while the speaker searches for words -- a low humming picked up from the sounds of the birds and crickets going about their business in the garden.]
Cordelia Chase is no longer here in Wonderland. She had friends here. I thought-- they'd want to know.
[Admittedly, he didn't know who she was close to beyond him. They never talked about that kind of thing, but it was important that anyone else who cared about her know that she was no longer with them. They deserved that, even if he didn't know them well enough to give the message personally.]
If you knew her, she probably appreciated you more than you realize.
[That's just the kind of person she is. A big, big heart to match that thousand-watt smile of hers.]
That's all.
[The feed ends abruptly. He never was good with public addresses.]
[Action:]
[With dark having fallen, Angel can be found out in the garden beyond the mansion, seated on one of the benches there and hunched over, his eyebrows drawn downwards as his mouth settles into a determinedly flat line, pensive. Pensive Face is pretty standard for him, but there's something more to it now, a little extra hunch to his shoulders, his usual level of brooding upgraded to Brooding with a capital B.
Her disappearance has hit him hard, for a thousand different reasons, most of which he's not sure he can articulate.
Anyone who passes by and looks closely enough might see that he's holding a piece of jewelry in his hands -- a locket, which he turns over and over without rest, even when he directs his gaze elsewhere, tirelessly repeating the same seemingly meaningless routine as he mulls over what this disappearance means. For Cordelia. For him.
He can't say he knows for sure what she's going back to. Death, but more than that. The Powers always had bigger plans for her, and somehow the uncertainty makes everything worse. All he knows that her leaving again--
He's lost her so many times now. Failed her just like he's failed everyone else, but somehow this is so much more painful. He feels defeated. Nobody trusted him or believed in him the way Cordelia did, but he's never been able to protect her. Not the way he ought to.]
Action
He's a potential experiment, a live petri dish while Sam is unwilling to do what he needs to do. Who doesn't want to see what happens to a vampire who consumes an excess of demon blood, anyway? She's got front row seats and she's taking reservations.
The post itself hadn't mattered much to her, to be honest. But it's her own wanderings that she notices him outside. Ruby watches from a distance for a long moment, taking in his body language and trying to eye what exactly he's fondling. Some sort of jewelry or trinket, no doubt this "Cordelia's". It's a painfully human tendency to hold onto material things for the sake of memory.
Ruby materializes silently on the bench next to him, though she affords a gentle gust of wind to give Angel a bit of a heads up. She doesn't look at him, instead, leans back as her hands support her weight on the back of the bench. ]
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Instead, his weight slowly shifts, languid and somehow tired as he straightens up just enough to look over, his mouth a thin, hard line that made him look older, immortality be damned.]
If you wanted to grill me about my thoughts on demon rights--
[He cuts himself off, shaking his head as he looks back down towards his hands, his shoes.]
I'm not in the mood.
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If I gave you a penny for your thoughts...
[ She finally tilts her head to the side, regarding him. ]
...what are you in the mood for?
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In fact, maybe, somewhere inside, he's already beginning to feel a bit appreciative.]
It would take a lot more than a penny.
[He pauses, finally looking her square in the eye.]
I don't know. [An honest answer. Painfully honest.] I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now.
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[ She eyes him up and down, waiting to see if there's more following the admission. Perhaps not. It's not like they're friends, after all, not even with the stint where they believed they were (yuck) high school students and indulged in a bit of childish merriment. But she clearly holds some interest in him, why else would she keep showing up? He's got to figure that much. If he assume it's all about demonic solidarity...maybe that's just the easiest angle to work from. ]
You were pretty close, huh?
[ Ruby can only assume he doesn't get this worked up over every disappearance. ]
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[audio]
Isn't that a good thing? She found a way out and somehow got to go home.
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[He's not so sure it would be a good thing for him if he went, either. He's almost certain he'd be going back to a crushing defeat, though it would have been for a good cause.
Cordelia's life was over. She was on to something new now. Something impossibly lonely, if her fears were to be believed.]
It all depends on what you have to go back to.
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Some people come from places far worse than this. Some don't have anything left at all.
[Cordelia's situation was the latter. Sometimes he thinks his might be, too.]
Wonderland isn't perfect. It's dangerous and sometimes it can be cruel, like any other world -- but it's a place for second chances.
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Is this place your second chance?
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action.
she has always preferred to deal with people in person. so not long after dark has fallen, it is by luck that she finds a man seated alone in the gardens. she might not have seen his face before, but he is clearly upset. gardens seem to be the go-to places for many to be alone. not wishing to risk having mistaken him for someone he might not be, elizabeth approaches slowly, a soft sense of concern in her eyes. ]
Sir? Would you mind some company? If not, I wished to say.. that if you were the one who shared that sad news a moment ago, that i am very sorry for your loss.
action.
He knows he couldn't have stopped Cordelia leaving Wonderland, but he could have changed the fate she was now returning to. She was where she was because he hadn't realized soon enough that she had already been taken from him, replaced by someone-- no, something else that had seen fit to use her as its puppet. He should have known.
He sighs. This woman is a stranger, but he appreciates her concern all the same.]
You can sit, if you like.
[He's not one to turn people away. Not when they're only being kind.]
Did you know her?
action.
I regret that I did not. But I have known loss myself and know that being alone makes the pain of it sting more sharply.
And I thank you. ( she says quietly, as she takes his offer and seats herself next to him. )
Do you find that remembering the fondest memories you have of her help at all?
action.
[He cuts himself off, shaking his head. No. It really doesn't.]
I think it gets worse.
[Each loss reflects his own failures in some way. He's supposed to be a hero. A Champion. That he keeps losing his closest allies, the people who matter the most to him, his family...
Sometimes it feels like just another way for the fates to punish him.]
Sometimes it does. It's bittersweet. [He pauses.] She'd been gone a long while before I came here. ... passed away.
action.
( the loss of family is a kind she knows only too well. she can see the sadness in him, and marvels at how he can express himself so freely. once, she had also been like that.
a sharp chord of empathy is drawn in her, and she softens her features, allowing for her empathy to come across clearly. she does not know him, but she silently offers a hand to him all the same. because her nature is such that she cannot stand by while someone is grieving without offering comfort. )
I cannot even imagine such a thing. ( how was it even possible, anyway? elizabeth can't understand it. ) Was the reunion more sweet than bitter?
( and she does not want to appear nosy, so she'll offer a bit of her own loss in return. )
My sister, Mary succumbed to the sweating sickness not terribly long ago. I endeavour to remember the things we enjoyed to do together best. Playing with dolls, the songs we used to sing. She was ever smiling, so rarely unhappy.
I recall it to remind myself that she would have no regrets, having lived a life so happily.
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audio
That's a shame. I liked Cordelia; she was someone I hoped to get to know better. I'm sorry.
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[He smiles grimly, unseen.]
I'm sure she liked you, too.
[She'd certainly have said so if she felt otherwise.]
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[There is some sympathy in her tone, a thing which didn't happen often.]
Do you need anything or are you okay?
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To be honest? I'm not sure what I need. It's not the first time I've said goodbye to her. I just... never seem to actually get the chance to say it.
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That seems rather cruel, not being able to say a proper goodbye. There is always a chance that she could come back to Wonderland. Other people have.
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[audio]
[Tohru knows that much from experience. Ruby and Aerith and so many others have come and gone. She'd held a sleepover for the girls on her floor when she arrived, and only one of those girls is still in Wonderland now. It's a very sad and lonely feeling when you realize someone's gone home.]
Is there anything I can do to help? I know it won't bring Miss Chase back to Wonderland, but...if you need someone to talk to, or if there's anything else I can do to help, I'm here for you.
[audio]
[He's not sure if he should be thanking her, or telling her it's okay -- it's not okay, but he doesn't want her concern to go unnoticed or unappreciated. He does appreciate it, more than he can say, but he knows it's going to sound ungrateful when he admits that there's nothing anyone can do.
Cordelia leaving means he has every reason to sit and let his thoughts on his own failures steep. He'd been so off the mark during his year at Wolfram & Hart, unknowingly strayed so far from who he'd been -- so much that the Powers That Be let Cordelia come back to see him one last time, just to point him in the right direction.
Without her, he wasn't sure how to proceed.]
It's nice of you to offer. To be honest... I don't know if there's anything anyone can do.
It's not the first time I've lost her.
[audio]
[Not just because Tohru likes everyone, but because Cordelia is clearly very dear to Angel, and for that alone Tohru knows she would have been really fond of her.
Tohru stays quiet though, and listens to Angel tell her what he needs, how he's feeling.]
So...does that mean you lost her at home too?
[There are many ways a person can lose someone, but Tohru assumes the one that has affected her the most in her life - that Cordelia has passed away at home, and that she was one of the people in Wonderland who arrived after their deaths, or despite upcoming deaths.]
Angel...I'm sorry. That's...that's cruel of Wonderland to send her away. [Tohru's voice wavers a little as she speaks.] And I know Wonderland isn't always a very good place, and that we shouldn't wish people here, but maybe...maybe she'll come back one day.
[audio]
[It's hard for him to imagine anyone not liking Cordelia, to be honest, but once upon a time, she'd been a selfish, spoiled high school girl, with a gang that rivaled the Russian secret police.
It had been incredible, watching her grow.
He's quiet for a moment before he answers, nodding.]
She passed away. A few months before I came here.
[A pause.]
I don't know if I should wish for that. [He doesn't know if he deserves it.] Getting my hopes up, when she has-- she has somewhere else to be.
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[She really is. Tohru actually knows this feeling very well, and goes quiet for a moment.]
...I think I can understand that though. I catch myself thinking about it sometimes too. It's hard not to think about it now and then, since Wonderland is a place where the dead can come back to life, but...sometimes, I think about what it would be like if Mom came to Wonderland.
[It's such a strange, impossible thing to think about....but, it isn't really impossible anymore, is it? People who are dead in their worlds have come to Wonderland before, so why couldn't her mother?]
I wouldn't wish for her to be trapped here either. It isn't right, not when they should be at rest, but the thought that I could see her one more time...it's an incredible thing. I don't think anyone would really want to wish their loved ones to Wonderland, but I don't think it's about that. Not really.
[It can't be, because they don't have any control over who comes and goes.]
All it means is that you miss her. And it's okay to miss someone that much.
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