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[005 | video]

Anyone know how to fight a dinosaur?

[Someone got out on the wrong side of the velociraptor-susceptible bed this morning. Shirtless and rumpled and bleeding all over the toilet cistern he's sitting on, Luke's having the worst sleepover ever.

But there is a moment of peace in which to make this whispered video, and so he tacks on a maudlin revelation.]

America's stuff's disappeared. That means he's really gone, doesn't it?

[He knows it does. Doesn't stop him hoping someone will tell him otherwise.

Something heavy slams into the bathroom door, and Luke jerks back, staring for one, two tense seconds as he waits to recreate the worst scene in Jurassic Park. Outside, that shit-stirring little reptile is hissing and screeching like the smug bastard he is. He knows what he does.]

But the dinosaur's free. And mad. The dinosaur's really mad. Help. Please.

[Someone. Before he has to start surviving off toothpaste and soap flakes.]

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Luke, where are you? I'm coming.

[He's heading out the door of the Musketeers' flat already. Not that he has dinosaur hunting experience, but stabbing things is stabbing things and he has a pistol as well. And when the crisis is over, perhaps he can offer some reassurance on the disappearance front.]

Don't stab the dinosaur!

[Clearly the most important thing right now. Not that Luke's ungrateful that he has a handsome older friend who's willing to stab things for him. That's very comforting in his time of need.]

It's room seven, next to the clinic. But I don't want to hurt it! I just want it to... go away for a bit.

Luke, it injured you. How does America get it to calm down?

[And he's still totally on his way. You can see the hallway going past his head as he strides towards the clinic.]

He picks it up? You're really fit, but I don't think you should try that.

[Aramis, you're such a bro. The relief on Luke's face is palpable, even if he's now very concerned for Jackson's safety.]

But this is just a scratch. It's my fault, really. [His fault for getting entangled with a dude who thinks huge fuck-off raptors are cute house pets.] And if you hit it, you might upset the other one.

[Did he forget to mention that? This is why you should never try to rescue Luke. He's just full of great surprises.]

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sorry for the delay!

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[All it takes is hearing the word dinosaur and seeing Luke's concerned face before Amy's picking up her dinosaur tranquilizer gun and storming off down the hall. Concern is written all over her face.]

Luke? Where are you?

[Who knew he'd have so many friends prepared to take on a dinosaur? In the bizarre alternate reality of RP it shall be so. Maybe he went back. Someone's gotta feed those bastards. OR MAYBE MUSKETEER-AMY TEAM UP??]

First floor, room seven. Since when do you have a gun?

[Amy, are you even part of the same franchise as Luke? Has anyone tried reasoning with this velociraptor?]

Hold tight, I'm on my way.

[She heads for the stairs, keeping the video on as she hurries along. She hefts her gun up a bit when he asks about it.]

Since the last time I fought dinosaurs.

[Duh why else would she have a dinosaur stun gun?]

And why is there one in there with you?

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A dinosaur? [oh man, he wants to see it so badly] Tranquilizer gun, maybe?

[Seriously? Seriously? Sure, Vicky, come down and see the dinosaur. It's a fun day out for the whole science family.]

You got one of those, doc? 'Cos I forgot to bring mine out today.

[It's probably just the dinosaur at the door that makes him look 500% done with his life.]

Not at the moment, but one quick request and I can get it from my closet.

[he's not a fan of magic but it sure does come in handy]

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[video] I THOUGHT I HAD REPLIED weeps

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[ Oh, that gets his attention, all right. ]

Why do you need to know how to fight a dinosaur?

[ He wasn't even aware there were dinosaurs in Wonderland. But even though it takes him a moment (it always does, when it's down to him trying to remind himself about priorities), somewhere in the middle of his curiosity and excitement, it registers in his brain that Luke is very clearly bleeding. ]

No, never mind that, sorry. That's not the important thing here. Is someone coming?

[Luke does not answer any of these questions, because out of all the emotionally schizophrenic bathroom-hiding experiences Luke's ever had, this one is like, number three on the list at least.]

Doctor? Doctor!

[His Doctor. Oh man, it's like a ray of hope is shining down on this sucky, sucky day. Even if the Doctor's just going to stand around and chat to him on video, Luke is now three thousand times more confident in his chances of survival and general life success.]

People are coming. Are you coming? You came back!

[He's about to hyperventilate with excitement here.]

[ Oh, well, he didn't expect that. He squints at Luke's image on the screen, trying to recall if he's seen him before somewhere. And when he realizes he can't place him anywhere, it's a bit troublesome, because no one takes being told they've been forgotten (or never known in the first place) well. ]

Well, I could, if you want me to. You do look a bit like you could use a hand.

[ He's already on the move, because that's obviously blood, and in combination with that earlier mention of dinosaurs, it's got the Doctor a bit concerned. ]

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action - fff why were we still using the video tag when they're in person? XD

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action - oh geez we are special people /o\

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action - aren't we though? XD /facepalm

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Wait, he's--gone? Really? America?

[Here he'd started thinking no one and nothing could make America do anything against his will.]

[Give him a moment to look away and wipe his face. He's not crying, there's just dinosaurs in his eye.]

It's that or he's discovered college pranks.

How...surprising.

[He's having some difficulty processing this, mostly because his mind is torn between "GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE" and "dang I'm actually going to miss him a little."]

And yet his, er, dinosaurs are still there? Perhaps he'll come back, then.

Do you need any, ah, assistance, by the way? [He could turn the dinosaurs into kittens. If America does come back that would be a nice welcome back gift.]

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[NOTE THE LACK OF EXPRESSION ON DARYL'S FACE.

It's the not-expression of "I give so many fucks they've cancelled each other out (only not really)".

It's the not-expression of "I shouldn't be upset about this but I am anyway".

The not-expression of "I don't wanna deal with this at all but there are raptors".]

What floor you on?

[Aw, c'mon man, Luke can't deal with this emotional wilderness. He has no idea how to react to someone exhibiting no emotion, so he stares back with wibbly-eyes.

Even if he can't read his face, he figures he probably meant a lot to Daryl. He's not sure know how it works for Americans, but for most people he's observed interacting with America, you really have to want to make that relationship work.]

First. Room seven.

[FUCK CONTINUITY EVERYONE PILE ON THE RAPTORS]

[Aw kid, don't make that face, come on, that face crushes souls.

As far as making it work goes... Daryl is about as far from that as possible- he'd expended zero effort whatsoever, and America'd grown on him anyway, wormed under his skin before he'd even had a chance to resist. America is the weird girl that the mean girl (Daryl) can't even be nasty to because they're just so goddamn endearingly strange; Daryl didn't stand a chance, really. There was no escaping this friendship it was just fate.

But he's not gonna let himself think about any of that, about the fact that he's just lost yet another person he'd let himself get close to here. You'd think he'd be used to that by now, given the world he'd lived in...

But whatever, raptors going crazy are more pressing than his emotional distress (whether he's acknowledging it or not), and so he shoves up from the log he's been perched on for the better part of the day, heads for the Mansion.]

Gotta make a stop, pick some shit up first... How many of 'em are there? Three?

[He's pretty sure there are three, the two little shits and the big bastard he'd had the dubious pleasure of riding that one time.......]

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[After everything that happened with Tom, things have actually been calm since he was subdued. In a way, that hasn't been a good thing for Martha. She's had a few patients she's still needed to check in on, but otherwise? She's had far too much time to think and stew in her guilt.

So this comes as quite the surprise. Luke generally takes good care of himself and he isn't one that she often has to worry about, so when he shows up bloodied and battered on her mobile, Martha immediately jumps to her feet.

America's gone? Except his dinosaurs didn't go with him, and now one of them is throwing some kind of fit. Which would be fine, if that fit wasn't being taken out of a friend of hers.]

Luke, just keep your voice down. In fact, text me a response to this. Where are you? In America's room?

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[Where was this sensible advice four threads back? Jackson seems to know exactly where he is, so murmuring might be pointless, but he fires off a quick text to Martha so she doesn't panic.]

yes, america's room. monseiur aramis said he'd help get me out don't worry!! hope you're okay xx

[Doctor Who timeline shenanigans happen elsewhere, and after everyone's finished treating America's room like a safari park, Luke flicks the camera back on. Still in America's room, still bloody, but at least he's wearing a shirt again and sitting on the bed this time.]

Hey, Martha? Everything's fine, now! Well, it's not fine, is it? But it's okay.

[Martha doesn't exactly approve of the way that Luke passes it off as if everything's fine, but she also realizes that Aramis is a musketeer and probably has a better chance of subduing a dinosaur than she does.

She does spend the next hour or so worried and debating whether or not to go look into things herself, but then she finally gets a call from Luke.]

Luke! [He's right, everything isn't fine at all.] Are you sure you're all right? Are you still hurt? [She sees those blood splatters...]

What happened to the dinosaur? [Because really, what do you do with one?]

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[Oh, no. Poor Luke.]

...was the dinosaur friends with America , too?

[At least Brittany is always there to bring a smile to his face.]

Yeah. I think they were really close. Probably misses him a lot.

[That or he's been biding his time all along, the little bastard.]

[Always and forever, bff 4 lyfe]

That explains why he's so upset.

He probably just needs a friend right now.

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