entranceway | [video]

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[Gabriel's hanging out in the bar. There's a tall glass of something bright next to him, half-demolished, but he doesn't seem to be paying it too much attention. His attention's on the video itself.

Watch out, Wonderland. You have a bored archangel on your hands. Anything could happen.]

So. Afterlives. Hit me.

What does your little corner of the multiverse believe in? Reincarnation? Sitting on clouds? Being literal soulfood for a dark, malevolent entity? Fiery pits?

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So, what, you've got multiple choice afterlives?

[That sounds incredibly complicated.]

Must be a lotta paperwork involved. No thank you.

Hey, not like we get to pick.

[Aside from their day-to-day actions, anyway.]

To be fair, most of those hell dimensions are just other worlds -- demon homeworlds. Pylea actually had some nice scenery. Lots of green. Others, not so much.

Not you. I hate to think of all the bureaucratic nonsense that goes on when you're all not looking.

[Jurisdiction is a nightmare enough when it's just Heaven, Hell and Purgatory.]

So demons come from somewhere else, huh?

For the most part. I mean, there are plenty that still crawl up out of the pits of Hell, but most demons up on the surface are hybrids. Pure demons -- they're another story entirely. Bigger, for one. Think snake big enough to swallow a high school whole.

[For example.]

But the rest? Some hop portals over to our world, some on purpose, some a little less so.

Hey, I knew a guy like that once.

[Jormungandr. Good old Jormy. Big enough to swallow a school? Yup. There's a reason he mostly keeps to himself, underground, or hides his shape entirely.]

You can do some great party tricks when you're that big. Not that I've tried it, mind you. I like everyone's eyes and brains to be intact.

Think maybe they were related?

[He's trying to be funny and failing -- par for the course, really.]

Is that what your real form is like? [He's figured out by now, at least, that the angels here in Wonderland have taken human vessels.] All big and-- holy flame-y?

[Gabriel shrugs, casual.]

More or less. Lots of fire. Lots of eyes and brains burning out if they see the real me. I'm not nearly this compact, either.

You're doing the rest of us a service.

[Must be interesting, being able to choose your own earthly body.]

Good for camouflage, too. Anyone ever pin you for what you are without you telling them?

Nope.

[He considers.]

Well, some people made a leap of flying logic when I said my name was Gabriel. Maybe they had some other senses going, but there's plenty of guys named after me. That was here, though. All bets are off with Wonderland.

[Yeah. Named after him. Good thing their mothers don't know the real him.]

Possible that you had a reputation coming in, anyway. You did mention you're not the only one from your homeworld here.

[He smiles wryly.]

Word travels fast. Those rumors spread like wildfire -- especially if you've gotten on people's bad sides.

[He gives the angel a knowing look. While he doesn't take any issue with Gabriel's antics personally, word has indeed gotten around.]

[Gabriel makes the world's most exaggeratedly shocked face. Just briefly, before he shrugs.]

And here I thought everybody loved me. I just don't know how I'm gonna deal with this revelation. [SIGH.] Some people around here just have no sense of humor.

[That smile cracks a bit wider. Maybe it wouldn't, if Angel had ever figured out who was behind all of the harassment when he was all flustered by the phones, but aside from that, he's found Gabriel nothing short of entertaining.

After all, he invented the platypus.]

Maybe you're just an acquired taste. Though I'm guessing it doesn't bother you much if they don't come around.

[He doesn't seem like the type to care all that much, really.]

So since I answered your question, I'm curious. What's the afterlife look like where you're from?

[He could make a joke, here, about acquiring tastes, but he doesn't. Angel distracts him with the question.]

It's no skin off my back if they don't have any taste. Can't make anyone have it. [Gabriel shrugs.] Afterlife? Depends on what you are. People who make deals or can't argue their way out of a paper bag go to Hell. People who generally do okay go to Heaven, and live out their Greatest Hits for the rest of eternity. Sounds pretty dull to me. Vampires go to Purgatory, I'm afraid. The monster playground.

[To be fair, if he had made that joke, Angel kind of walked right into it. He does that now and then.]

Live out their--

[Hm.]

What, they get stuck repeating some of their old memories?

[Doesn't sound much like Heaven to him.]

I was always under the impression Purgatory was a waiting room for all souls.

If the happiest moment of your life was watching your kids play in a park while eating a donut, that's what you get. [Gabriel doesn't think that sounds very exciting, but hey.] Purgatory's more like... ever read Lord of the Flies? It's kinda that. In a forest full of the ugliest things Dad ever made.

Huh. Sounds like it falls a little short of the stories.

[Sure doesn't sound like eternal bliss to him, though to be fair, he doesn't know all that much about happiness, and a certain gypsy curse has ensured he doesn't go out of his way to seek it out.]

I read it. Little dry.

[That's not the point, is it.]

So every monster, everything that's not a human soul, they get shoved down there?

[Even vampires, apparently, despite being born human and with souls -- at least, that's how it worked where he's from. Logic would dictate that vampires went straight to hell just like all the other demons, but there were more than a few differences between their two worlds.]

Sounds homey.

Pretty much. An all-purpose pit for everyone, and everything, not pure human. Not that I got a real long look, mind you. [Gabriel grins, shrugging.] I was that kid who sticks their nose where it doesn't belong. Drove Dad crazy, I think.

[Dad being God, of course.]

On the upside, it's a little better than Hell. Things have gone to the bureaucratic dogs down there.

[Just the way Hell should be, probably.]

He ever put you in time out for that kind of thing?

[It sounds ridiculous, but the mental image is a good one: an angel being yanked back by their halo and stuck in a corner of clouds, robbed of their harp. Or whatever it is angels actually toted around up there.]

What do you mean, they've gone from fiery pits to burying people in paperwork?

[He winces.]

I've been to hell. The one with the hot pokers and all the torture. I'd take that over red tape any day.

[Just don't say that to his face, Angel, or you'll end up in a robe and harp at some point. The comparisons get tiring.]

Oh, sure. Or he'd just pawn me off on someone else.

[Usually Lucifer.]

I hear red tape's all the rage with the new Hell. Red tape and queues. I think I'd take the pokers, too.

[Gabriel has a ten second attention span and all.]

Standing in line. That really is hell. And here I thought the one with all the pop-stars and politicians was hardcore.

[There's no convincing him that they don't have their own separate hell somewhere.]

All the more inspiration to be on our best behavior, I guess.

[As if it makes a difference for him.]

Oh, they're down there.

[Gabriel grins.]

Believe me, they're down there. How do you think most of 'em get to where they are? Signing away your soul is easy when you look at legal documents all the time. It's just another contract.

Never doubted it for a second. There are some things that just don't get made without the devil having a hand in it.

[He could list about a dozen movies off the top of his head.]

Pretty sure they have their own level where I'm from.

[Circle. Whatever.]

Not that I've been there. The one I visited was mostly fire and brimstone, but there was the one that was full of demon gladiators and human slaves. That was a good time.

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