[AH YES. LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL SCENERY. Assuming you don't get motion sickness, because this is some definite mockumentary shit right here. The camera moves across the beautiful canyon with its creepy Jungi Ito-ian splendor, narrated by a familiar shrill voice.]See? This is what I've been talking about! This is what
I call a kindergarten, you clods. And not only is it a kindergarten, it's the
Prime Kindergarten on Earth. Look at it. It's so elegant, so well-thought out.
[The camera lingers on a busted injector drill for a moment.] Obviously, the equipment is defunct now, but in its day, this place was a well-oiled machine producing gems for Homeworld. If it wasn't for the fact that kindergartens drain planets of their resources and make them inhabitable for organic life, this one could probably
still produce a few more quartzes. Heh.
[She laughs, awkwardly.] - Oh! But you should see this. This is what the Wonderland creature was talking about- Ngh! [She holds the camera up, trying to get a view inside one of the holes, but it's... dark so there's not really much to see.] Look how
perfect this hole is. The quartz who came out of this had to have been a
brute. Also! You should all know that this is actually a reproduction of the kindergarten Amethyst was made in. For those of you who knew her, which most of you should have.
[The camera shuffles around, reminding everyone to never eat before watching a mockumentary.] It would be almost perfect as a slice of home if not for one...
problem.
[and she finally turns the camera around, revealing this face, wearing something like this, though with significantly less cleavage involved.] WHY DO I LOOK LIKE THIS?! I'm supposed to be in my
element. Those
Wonderclods are going to pay for-
[There's an unnerving sound off-camera and Peridot looks away nervously.] Oh no... I almost forgot about
them.[all replies will come from
clodcuckoolander.]