[Hello, Wonderland.

This is an unfeasibly large gun.

In fact, that's pretty much the entire broadcast right now- the four barrels of an unfeasibly large laser cannon. Off-screen, presumably wielding said unfeasibly large cannon, a Brooklyn-accented voice speaks up.]

I've been here two hours and I ain't heard any demands, so I hope I'm not stealin' your thunder if I skip the theatrics and move right on to the negotiation process. [There's a pause and then a dry laugh.] Oh, who am I kiddin'. I don't give a shit about your thunder. You took somethin' what belongs to me. Four somethings actually. They go by the names Peter Quill, Gamora, Drax, and Groot. They are completely helpless without me, so I get why you'd think they were the ones to kidnap. This will still go down in history as the dumbest move of your lives, so way to think strategically, you d'ast imbeciles.

Here's my terms. If I don't see all four of 'em alive 'n breathin' in the next six seconds, I'm gonna put a round in this communicator just for the hell of it. And then I'm gonna put about eight more rounds in your face. And after that I'll get real creative.

[The gun is lowered. And there is one pissed off raccoon now staring into the screen.] Do I make myself perfectly freakin' clear?