[It's difficult for him to say out loud, even to Cordelia herself. They'd said the words to one another more than once, but the circumstances were always dire. Now he regrets it. He hadn't said it enough, only assumed that she knew how he felt, but he had loved her, in a much, much different way than he had loved a certain vampire slayer years ago. Buffy had changed his life, lead him back towards being a man rather than the husk of one, but Cordelia--

Cordelia understood him inside and out. Cordelia had always been there for him, supported him, guided him. He was lost without her. He had told her so.

And here this young woman is, speaking to him of loss with the weight only experience can grant. He's being selfish, focusing on himself so much.]

I'm sorry. That you've felt loss so deeply, at such a young age. ... it should never be that way.

[It never seems right to him, though there's often no changing it.]

Losing family... it's one of the most painful things I've ever experienced. I wouldn't wish it on anyone else.

[And yet it's inevitable. He's lost his several times over; lost Cordelia, lost Connor, lost Fred. Wesley, too. Everyone he cared about, everyone who had come to depend on him--

He'd done his best, but there were some lives he just couldn't save.

Some Champion.]