Have you ever wanted a method t'defend yourself that doesn't need a weapon? Tired'a dealin' with guns that jam, knives that're knocked away, and hits that're easily blocked? Just need a way t'feel safe at night or from any've the nasties the mansion could throw our way?

Perhaps you'd rather keep yourself busy with a craft involvin' needles but you're sick've losin' the damn things. Perhaps you enjoy gardenin' and dislike the to-do rakin' can be. Perhaps you take care of horses or other animals that need constant brushin'. Perhaps you yourself need a constant hair brush on hand.

Well well, ladies and gents, I've got the product for you in the works. I'm in the market for a few test subjects, if any've you are interested in furthering the future've genetic sciences. Make a reply to this post and we'll see what we here at Sinclair Solutions can do for you.

[ _{whoops, that last part was automatic. he lets out an irritated breath.} ]

Ahh.. At least, we'll see what I can do for you.